HOW TO MAKE A ROWING MOVIE
So you're looking for an alternative use for the Camcorder that only gets taken out twice a year to prove to the men's squad that they won't make it to the next Olympics... well why not make your own rowing film.
All you need to do is follow the rabbit's secret formula, gleened from watching hours (well minutes) of rowing in the movies..
YOU WILL NEED...
A bunch of actors (for close ups) who can't row , but are really good at pulling faces and look good with their clothes off (see Nekkid shots)
A bunch of rowers (for long shots) who look nothing like the bunch of actors and are preferably using different equipment
A hero - should be an outsider fighting against the odds to either get selected or win "the race"
A suitable anti-hero - usually irritating pompous public school type with floppy hair and a very fit girlfriend
A love interest (see girlfiend of anti-hero though may also be a coxswain, or indeed both)
An important race - this must be one of the following: Henley Royal Regatta; The Oxford Cambridge boatrace or a one on one grudge match in singles
A swivel / gate which will disintegrate at a key moment in "the race" (did I mention there has to be a race)
A close finish, with the hero (who's managed to recover from his disintegrating gate problem) coming through to win in the last 2 strokes
Nekkid shots - preferably homo-erotic changing room / shower scenes, though bad sex scenes will also do
permission to film in Oxford - all rowing movies filimed outside of Canada, must have something to do with Oxford, it's the law.
Whilst it is possible to stray from the above rules, we wouldn't recommend you ignore more than one if you want your creation to be a hit.
Finally - all films set in Philadelphia or Boston (whether about rowing or not) have to have at least one shot of a crew / sculler going past in the baskground.