Clean Cut

Dirty boy


Has anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between flamboyant
LRC oarsman Brian "Dirty Bullet" Ulliot and Jake Shears, the
flamboyant lead singer of the Scissor Sisters?

Perhaps this explains why they are never to be seen in the same
room together - in which case would the rich bastard please pay
me back the money he owes me.

Ima X Resi



Mr George

Mr George


Has anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between
Tideway safety enforcer Chris George and his Son?

Could they perchance be related?

tired and emotional

9 Adam Street

The slug took a short wander down to the river on Saturday to watch the start of the annual Great River race, in which 273 crews of nutters row the 22 miles from Richmond to Greenwich in fixed seat boats, most of which are 'traditional' style wooden vessels (i.e. the sort that weigh a lot - especially when you're dragging them onto a trailer having just finished four hours of rowing).

As ever the race produced a wide range of boat types, abilities and costumes (the start is handicapped to compensate for those taking part in different hull shapes), and watching from the start it was fairly evident which crews would be suffering by the end -- lets face it, it's never a good idea to do the first mile rating 50 when there's another 21 to go - especially when wearing fur hats, no gloves and rowing completely out of time.

The coastal rowing, river rowing and skiffing communities were out in force with entries from Molesey BC; TSS; Poplar & Blackwell; Thames Valley Skiff club; The Skiff Club, Teddington; Dittons Skiff and Punting club; St Kearn's RC; Neyland RC; Combined services RC; Borth RC; Lloyd's register; Barn Elms; Swanage Sea Rowing club and Fossa RC amongst others.

The Scrubbers boys, resplendent in gimp suits managed fourth place overall in a Pembrokeshire Longboat. For once the event winners weren't in an outrigger canoe or dragon boat, but an Atlantic rowing boat. The crew, Dom Mee, Chris Martin, Ed James, Peter Bird and Tom Rendell, recently broke the record for rowing from London to Paris and will be attempting the transatlantic record in January 07.

Results aside, the most impressive boat taking part was the 18 seat big gig rowed by the 'Hairy monster crew', which went off last after an 89 minute handicap. The crew had apparently spent the day before the race re-assembling the 80 foot long beast and were still working on it after the first crews had started.

Also taking part in the event were crews from the Watermen's Company and the London Port Health Authority (mind you, I didn't spot if they were taking sewage samples from the river during their row...) and we had to wonder about the Aesculus Chapter Rowing for Motivation who were being piped along from the stern - not sure if this was supposed to be motivating them, or was simply motivating the other crews to get away from the racket as quickly as possible....

Provisional Results

A few pics

Whilst the 5th and last round of this year's UK surf rowing summer series took place in Cornwall last week, the Leander and Marlow crews who took part in the World Champs in August weren't present... a decision which may perhaps be explained in part by the following.
"Dear Slug

I read with some interest your previous mutterings regarding Marlow and Leander's recent attempts in the UK Surfboat Rowing Champs. Well, during recent conversation with the organiser it appears that our men from the pink club were somewhat dumbfounded by the kit.

It is commonplace to share boats between men and women during racing, and owing to the lack of seats it is only the skin of one's backside (+ water) that allows movement up and down the slide. One can only assume that they were concerned about leaving unwanted hair behind, because when presented with their racing speedos they replied "shall we shave down?"

Voluntary Brazillians for the whole crew... what next - back, sack and crack?

Red Cheeks

any excuse, eh boys?

Does the business of winter training bore or irritate you? Do you keep falling asleep during steady state outings?

Does the monotone whine of the midget at the back force you to contemplate doing him/her physical harm or consider looking for the nearest sharp object or length of wire to end it all? Is the bloke at 2 getting on your thruppnies?

Here's a way to ease your pain.

  1. Before your next outing or team ergo session, prepare yourself by drawing a square on a piece of stiff board . I find that 5"x5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

  2. Write a sutiable words/phrases in each block - using our suggestions or make up your own from the fashionable coxing & coaching phrases du jour at your club :

    • quick on the catch
    • hands and feet
    • long in the water
    • catch it behind the rigger
    • against the rudder
    • feather high
    • sit it level
    • swing down the center line
    • hands, three!
    • another fifty
    • dont rush
    • keep your legs down
    • slow up the slide
    • poise on the front stops
    • dont fall in over the front stop
    • DONT F****ING RUSH !!
    • three - hands!
    • blades on bowside
    • blades on strokeside
    • OH S** T!
    • we'll do some pyramids going back
    • yes we will
    • YES - WE WILL!
    • think about it
    • you with us three?
    Or print out and use the example below:

  3. Pin it to the back of the guy in front [n.b. strokes are not advised to staple it to the cox'ns head!]

  4. Check off [mentally] the appropriate box when you hear one of those words/phrases.

  5. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up [in the boat if you wish] and shout "BULLSHIT!"
Great as a Team game and morale booster!

Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

" We had been on the water for only five minutes when I won."
- Steve R, Marlow

" I got quite a shock under Barnes Brige when everyone else shouted"
- John B., Surbiton

"My attention span in outings has improved dramatically."
- 'Ace' N., Oxford

"What a gas! Vet Heads will never be the same for me after my first win."
- Dave G., Chiswick

"The atmosphere in the club house was tense during the last crew ergo, as the guys waited for the fifth box."
- Bill M., Putney

"Jurgen was stunned as all four of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours."
- Andy T-H, Eton

An update on the rather unpleasant individual who did this to Nick Friend outside Latinos in Henley after the 2006 HRC annual dinner.

Apparently whilst the perpetrator, 'McManus' was on bail, during Henley Regatta, some unlucky reveller spilt a pint on his friend in the Barn Bar. 'Mcmanus' took great offence to this heinous sin and promptly picked up a bottle, hit him over the head... and if this wasn't enough, he then used the broken bottle to glass the poor guy in the face.

Straight to the slammer for Mr Mcmanus, and with 2 years for the headbutt on Nick and 3 for the glassing in the barn bar, he shouldn't be out for a few years to prey upon us poor innocent rowers.

we hope...

A very random selection of pics take at the World Champs and associated activites...

Whilst the slug has seen frequent reference to people playing Cat bukaroo with sleeping moggies, we've never seen it done with rowers before...


The individual being stacked at a TRC/LRC houseparty last week in Putney, is reportedly one Max Bourne - one of the TRC men.

Looks like some people need to start training again soon to keep them out of trouble!!!

First a bit of background, Zac Purchase's girlfriend has a large furry rabbit (of the live variety) which she attempted to bring into the FISA, friends and family grandstand during the champs last week (apparently she takes it everywhere).

Access was denied to the bunny after some frantic radio traffic to the FISA officals confirmed that there was to be no lifestock in the Grandstand for Health and Safey reasons (presumably because there were athletes in the area and they were worried the rabbit might catch something).

Anyway, after hearing of the 'rabbit' incident, those manning the cycle hire hut at the champs were slightly astonished to hear that their team mate Richard Stanhope had just obtained such a creature (for his kids....).

Later on it became apparent that the 'supplier' was none other than the Honorary President himself, Sir Steven Redgrave...!

On being thanked, he was heard to mutter darkly "Plenty more where that came from".

With this in mind perhaps FISA might consider revising their rabbit rules!

Swapping boats for bikes, six scullers from the Tideway (as opposed to Tideway Scullers), did the 450 miles from Edinburgh to London ‘Non Stop’ earlier this month. They set off at 7am on Saturday 19th August full of hope, enthusiasm and commitment and arrived thirty-four hours later full of bananas and USN sports drinks.

The team consisted of - Harry’ Pay attention at the back there’ Powell (AK), John ‘The Guvnor’ Warnock (LRC), Simon ‘Rest is for wimps’ Beever (LRC), Michael ‘International man of mystery’ Tchouberoff (AK), Peter ‘Where’s my Nurofen’ Goodchild (AK), and Will ‘The Pathfinder’ Tilbury (Vesta).

The original plan was to cycle for 2.25 hours and then pit stop to rest and refuel for 15 minutes again, and again, and again. After 24 hours of this the team had reached the point where the R’n’R breaks became a little longer and a little more frequent, but not much, so the goal of a 15mph average door to door slipped slightly but by 5pm on Sunday 20th, the mission was very definitely accomplished, as they rode back into Sheen.

Highlights of the trip were the chip shop in Thirsk (9pm Sat), the pie shop Olney (lunchtime Sunday), and the Finish in Sheen. Alas the desperately hoped for highlight of a proper breakfast snack at the end of a very tough all night night-cycle failed to materialise because (for the record) there is not a single A or B road layby cafe or service station greasy spoon open on a Sunday anywhere between Lincoln and Olney!