THINGYMAWHATSIZNAME...

Great moments in the Umpire's launch...

Whilst the Slug was trying not to shrivel up in the burning sun, while on the Umpire's launch following races at burds Henley, a fellow launch member was heard to remark...
"I saw that Harold Pinter this morning".

To which numerous other people in the launch responded, "Harold who?".

"You know...Harold Pinter... or is it Matthew Pinter?".

Fortunately someone in the launch helped her out and responded with,
"Don't you mean Matthew Pinsent?"

"Oh yes, that's him the Olympic fellow".

Obviously a big rowing fan then...

SHORT STRAW?

The award for the lamest request EVER, to a regatta committee has to go to the Lancaster University Crew who were drawn against Cambridge University in the first race of College eights at Women’s Henley last weekend, which also happened to be the first race of the regatta (8am Saturday).

After seeing the draw, a representative of the club apparently phoned the regatta organisers to ask if they “would please change our opponent in the first round as we’re not very good and we think they’ll beat us, so we want to race somebody else” (or words to that effect).

Those of you with more than one brain cell, will no doubt be able to imagine the response of the committee to their request.. needless to say Lancaster were heading home before most crews had set boat on the water…

MIS-SHAPEN IDENTITY..

Now, you may or may not be aware that there is a club ooop north in Scotland known as Dee-side Scullers. This venerable rowing establishment is populated by Aberdeen Unversity Alumni, including a reasonable number of SARA officials and, as is the way in Aberdeen, combines a love of men (and cattle) with a deep rooted mysoginistic view of women.

In fact, in the past Dee-Side scullers were so anti-women that members would get fined if they mentioned wimmin in the committee minutes, so when a female had the audacity to try to join many long years ago, she was referred to as a "mis-shapen man" a term which has remained in wide usage at the club.

Now, even Deeside Scullers has moved into the 21st centuary, and has been allowing - mis-shapen male members for around the last 6 years - although they insist on calling them Mr. So it was with much amusement that the slug heard of their expolits at the Scottish Rowing Championships last weekend.

Picture the scene... a heat of the Men's Open Championship VIIIs at Strathclyde Park... SARA official Terry Mc'Neill (who's always hankered after Deeside membership but never managed it) is starter for the race.

Terry gives a quick look over the crews and starts the event.. but not long into the event the race umpire notices that something is not quite right about the Deeside crew... lets say - the stroke was slightly er.."mis-shapen" and quickly disqualifies the crew...

What Mr Mc'Neill had failed to notice was that the Dee-side crew had a female stroke - and unlike the ARA, SARA rules, don't allow women to row in men's events...

Much laughter /red faces all round, but the slug wouldn't want to bet on Terry's membership chances if he can't spot the difference...