APOLOGIES DUE

The slug would like to apologise to Mr James Hogan and his family, for any distress caused by the article "SOMETHING IN THE BEER?" (see below), as it appears that our usually accurate sources did in fact, pass on dud information.

To rectify the situation and prevent any further ridicule / suffering to Mr Hogan, we would like to clarify that under no circumstances did he attempt and fail, to make lurve to a Scouse girl in the Tuppity-tup-tup. Yes, we can now say for once and for all, that the girl in question was definitely NOT from anywhere near Liverpool.

James also assures me that "she had nothing to complain about" on the trouser front - but I think we'll wait to see what she's got to say about that one...

SOMETHING IN THE BEER

A gruesome bit of slime has turned up from that den of iniquity, the Twickenham Tup, featuring an incident that occured on Sunday 12th September to be precise....

It appears that Twickenham member, James Mouth-Hogan (who the slug understands is one of the novices), had apparently been indulging in a few too many beverages that evening, when, out of the blue, he got a "call to arms" so to speak..i.e. the lucky young chap was invited into the ladies toilets in the Tup by a certain local Scouse girl, whom, we can only assume, had seen him prancing around in his new all-in-one, and was suitably impressed by the goods on offer.

Alas, despite having the opportunity handed to him on a golden platter, poor old James didnt quite live up to expectations...

yes, you guessed it - the drinking man's foe...brewers droop...the slug can only hope he will learn from his mistake. (better luck next time James)

One possible alternative explanation, is that James had been complaining of sore knees from Rugby practice, so when he finally got to use his knees in a more practical way, the pain may have been just too strong and may have dampened his desire.

THE TRUTH WILL OUT

Having posted the article on Lyrca mishaps at Henley (see below) The Slug was pleasantly surprised to hear from someone involved in the incident, who was able to shed some more light on the proceedings...

"As the photographer in question I think the full story needs to come out:

Imagine University of Bristol are having a barbeque at their trailer in the trailer park, consuming one or two beers. A few Bristol old boys are also present - Dangerous Mix...

The American crew (Dartmouth College Lightweight eight I believe) appear, poncing around in rolled down all in ones.

Never believing it could happen, I dare Captain Fishlips (Names change to preserve secrecy) to debag one of the yanks as they have the boat above heads, insisting it will elevate him to Legendary status forever.

After some cajoling, off he head to the Americans, and then turns back. After some cajoling he returns and performs the deed, which was caught on camera...

Understandably upset, the American turns around, and Captain Fishlips in his somewhat scared and drunken state falls over himself backwards and ends up in a heap in a nice patch of mud.

Fishlips apologises profusely and is seemingly let off until the American realises that there was a photo taken.

At this point the proceedings almost turned nasty but following some persuasion from the Bristol crowd (we're bigger than you...), he is persuaded to leave it."