Ever suspected that a fellow crew member was under the influence of chemical substances while in the boat???
Well after a considerable amount of research, conducted selflessly by volunteers on both sides of the Atlantic, (purely for the advancement of science of course), Underground can finally bring you a short guide to help you recognise some of the symptoms ...
ALCOHOL
Drools
Throws up over the rower sitting in front
Makes eyes at the cox
Talks loudly about how great he/she is
Makes eyes at the women's/men's squad
Continually rates either 2 pips lower or higher than rest of crew
Makes eyes at the cox
Complete inability to balance
Makes eyes at the cox
Starts singing loudly in the boat
AMPHETAMINES
Tries to rate 90 during pieces
Very focused in boat, believes can win every race
Keeps asking to stop so can go to the toilet
Grips blade too tightly, tense neck and shoulders
Complains that hands and feet are cold
CANNABIS (weed/hash/black/skunk)
Won't shut up in the boat
Stops rowing in the middle of a piece to look at the baby birds swimming
past
Can't rate higher than 16
Eating continually while in the boat
COCAINE (normal or crack)
Sweating while doing light paddling
Keeps asking cox to increase the pressure
Wants to race everybody and anybody
Expresses desire to scull because everyone else in the crew is crap
ECSTASY (MDMA)
Will row for hours and hours until passes out
Tells everyone else in the crew how wonderful they all are
Keeps hugging the cox/coach/crew members after outings
HEROIN (opiates)
Doesn't mind rowing with raw blisters/broken limbs/ruptured discs
Has problems with rate changes
Will happily sit and stare at the little metal screw that holds the foot
plate in place for the whole outing
Throws up after/during outings
LSD (Acid)
Reports out of boat experiences
Complains that the last 1k piece lasted 15 minutes
Sits in the 2 seat but responds to commands meant for bow
Convinced the coach is an alien / trying to kill the crew
MAGIC MUSHROOMS
Reports feeling sea sick
Excessive 'wind'
Starts screaming and jumps out of the boat for no apparent reason
NITRATES (amyl and butyl)
Inability to row at anything above light pressure
Removes all kit and makes eyes at the cox (or anyone else who happens to be passing)
|
