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PORTALOO
(With apologies to Abba)

My my, that portaloo is just an inconvenience
Oh yeah, the drain is blocked and still I need to go before I race
I try to explain to my crew
I can’t go and race ‘til I poo

Portaloo, blocked because rowers all carbo load
Portaloo, next nearest toilet is down the road,
Portaloo, always you’re full by division 2
Portaloo, won’t use the paper stuck to my shoe
Portaloo, door wouldn’t lock if I wanted to

My my, I’ll try to hold it back but I am desperate,
Oh yeah, I thought it was just wind but I can feel the puppies nose,
I doubt I can hold it all in,
Whilst squeezing to do a firm ten,

Portaloo, blocked because rowers all carbo load
Portaloo, next nearest toilet is down the road,
Portaloo, always you’re full by division 2
Portaloo, won’t use the paper stuck to my shoe
Portaloo, the door wouldn’t lock if I wanted to

If we race I doubt we’ll row well,
I’ll knock out my crew with the smell,

Portaloo, blocked because rowers all carbo load
Portaloo, next nearest toilet is down the road,
Portaloo, always you’re full by division 2
Portaloo, won’t use the paper stuck to my shoe
Portaloo, the door wouldn’t lock if I wanted to

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