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rowing songs

(With apologies to Madness)

Novice rowers second eights
Knackered blades and squaring late
Deselected second sub
Putting holes in the training tub
Second outing was much worse
No one out in the launch of course
All the coaches on the bank
None of them had filled the tank

Oh what fun we had
But was the outing all that bad
No-one understands
The fun of blisters on your hands
Oh what fun we had
The outings over, oh how sad
Now it’s time to show
How bad we look on video

Head Coach had enough today
Jumped from his launch and swam away
Found him later by good luck
Slumped on the floor of the Dog and Duck
Got the crew to have a chat
Told the cox we think she’s fat
Meeting went on ‘til quite late
We told her which limb to amputate

Lots of boys with lots of flab
Lots of wash and lots of crabs
Rowing pressure up to hard
We did ten strokes and moved a yard
Baggy one piece, smelly kit
Pulling useless ergo splits
Look in the mirror and I see
A hopeless rowing wannabe

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