Following on from the success of our Rowing Haiku edition, Underground Poetry corner is delighted to be able to bring you exerts from our new, eclectic collection of rowing limericks.
Over the years a number of renowned poets have penned down verses about the art of the blade, that have appealed to our senses both emotionally and spiritually.
Yet, no rowing collection would be complete without including the limerick's thematic variety... producing poetry that is fluent in style, full of humour and intensity.
This is a collection which is at times bold and aggressive in its choice of words, and at times quite intense in meaning.
A must buy for anyone who appreciates contemporary Rowing poetry
A four that was racing the head
discovered their cox'n was dead
so to speed up their ride
dumped him over the side
and finished it coxless instead
A sculler who rowed out of Vesper
had been seen in the showers to have chest hair.
"the steroids, you see,
they took hold of me"
so the drug police came to arrest her
A woman, a novice to crew
was attacked by a crab while at 2
as the blade passed her seat
it pulled out both her feet
and ejected her into the blue
The stroke of the men's coxless four
found low rating a bit of a bore
but by losing the slide
he could rate eighty-five
and on good days a little bit more
A certain young lady from Twickers
when asked why she never wore knickers
said "rowing's no fun
when they ride up my bum
it just makes my technique that bit slicker"
A cox'n approached LRC
and enquired of their membership fee
"all this money you ask
just to sit on my ass?
I'd be better off back at the Lea!"
There once was a sculler from Thames
who's boat held a mirror and a lens
This curious contraption
Required technique adaptation
but at least he could see round the bends
There was a young rower from Ealing
who found ergo tests quite appealing
but when put in a boat
realised ergos don't float
as the coach by his side was soon squealing
A well known rower called Trigger
Was proud of his tall and thin figure
That might have been so
But he started to grow
And soon became bigger and bigger
At trials was a scrubber of name
who possesses notorious fame
(for he likes sixty-niners)
But if his boat had been finer
He might have been top ten in the game
A TRC coach dismissed grace
and was interested only in pace
Though not in a boat
It was Ergo "by rote"
For he thought it could win him a race
A coach training crews for Hen-ley
Lamented his own injured knee
"If it wasn't for ligaments
I'd have seat-raced these big c***s,
but I'm stuck with gold vicarious-ly"
Universities in the US
will offer a scholarship test.
For a 6.30 ergo
they say "you can far-go"
Its zilch to do with cleverness
A man wore his lycra quite tight
'cause he though if he did, that he might
Show the girls what to touch
But was it was just a bit much
And they all ran away in a fright
A short sighted sculler from Quintin
Kept losing the rack that his boat's in
but girls won't make passes
at men who wear glasses
so he'd rather appear to be squintin'
A rowing enthusiast, Cox,
Had water seep into his socks.
By upward attraction
Caused testicle rot in his jocks.