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rowing songs
(With apologies to Queen... er and probably to Putney town too.. ahem...)

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Don’t know what happened
Or the event that has flattened me
Blinking my eyes
See nothing but sky and trees,
Think I’m the bowman, it’s coming back to me
Because I’m in an eight, lying down
Losing to, Putney Town
We are not a Thames crew, so it doesn’t matter to me, to me

Mama, just caught a crab
“Lengthen out” the cox had said,
Then my handle hit my head,
Mama, we had just begun,
But now the opposition’s lengths away
Mama, ooo
Wish I could curl up and die
When we come to re-rig the boat tomorrow,
I’ll carry on, carry on – as if nothing really happened…

Cruel fate, I feel so dumb
My blade has holed the shell,
Think the rigger’s bent as well,
Bad luck everybody – we’ll have to row
In the boat that’s abused by the novice crew
Mama, ooo
I don’t want to lie:
I’ve had bad crabs since I was really small

I see a little silhouetto on the bank
It’s the coach, it’s the coach and he’s chewing his sandal
Swearing , lots of shouting – very very frightening me
“Putney Town (Putney Town)
Putney Town (Putney Town)
Putney Town – club of renown!? – you’re three lengths down!!”

Please - I’m just a short guy – nobody hit me
(He’s just a short guy from a short family
Let’s talk it through over biscuits and tea)
Easy come easy go, will you let me row?
You’re joking! No – we will will not let you row – let him row
You’re joking! We will not let you row – let him row
You’re joking! We will not let you row – let me row
Will not let you row – let me row (never)
Never let you row – let me row
Never let me row – o
No, no, no, no, no, no, no –
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me row
They’ll tie me up in the guy ropes from the beer marquee
And flee
And flee

So you wanted to dump me - well before you go
I have hidden the top nuts so that you can’t row
Ooh baby, call it blackmail maybe,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get out with the crew.

Boat lies there in tatters,
Anyone can see
Catching crabs just matters – catching crabs just matters to me.

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